DGW - Chapter 10-11 - Marriage and Singlness

Hi all

Just some notes from our last discussion regarding Chapters 11 and 12.

Chapter 11 - the Discipline of Singleness
We noted that you do not often get the message these days that it is better to be single. We certainly are easily "indoctrinated" by our culture, as Barbara states on pg 133 "indoctrinated by our relationship and sex-worshiping culture".
It was also interesting to note how Barbara talks about being content with where you are in life - with the place, whether single or married, that God has placed you. p 134. She goes on to say that "singleness is not always a permanent state" p 135, and we noted with this, that marriage is not always a permanent state either. That at some point many married people will again be single with the death of their partner. So, again, how important it is to be content and serving God whichever state we are in.
A big part of our discussion centred on bringing up our children, and particularly little girls to not be too focused on marriage/romance. This included the idea of training them to be good single people, and not just good married people (in the sense that they need to have the skills to look after themselves and learn to be able to occupy themselves for the Lord, whilst unmarried).

Chapter 12 - the Discipline of Marriage
We were struck by the story Barbara shares of her own parents and their marriage. It certainly isn't the typical picture of a successful and delightful marriage, but it is so lovely to see that simple picture of a wife sticking by her husband (as that is what she is called to do) and much blessing being passed on to the family as a result, pg 142-144.
We also discussed the importance of traditional vows (as opposed to homemade vows, p 145) because they are reflective of the Bibles' teaching about husbands and wives.
A lot of our discussion also focussed on our culture in this chapter - we discussed how our culture has such a minimal and poor view of marriage, ie. they want divorce to be easy, they want homosexual marriage to take place. We also realised how central true and proper marriage is to a good and godly society. In basic family units, how important it is that men and women play out their roles in marriage according to God's laws and directions.
The woman's role of submission is addressed by Barbara on pg 147-148. It is counter cultural to understand that this role is not demeaning. Society wants to tell us that being in submission is demeaning for women.
The other role of helper is discussed on pg 150-152, and we learnt that as a helper, we must encourage our husbands.
pg 153-154 speaks about the importance of respecting your husband. We discussed that when we don't respect our husbands in marriage it can spill out into so many other areas. Respect is a very important part of our role and we must seek to maintain it, even if we don't feel like giving it "It's respect that is given because it's the Lord who requires that respect be given".
Finally, Barbara's goal as a wife stirred us all, and inspires us to also seek such a goal as wives with our husbands. "One day I want to hear God say to Kent, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Master." As Kent's helper in this life, those words will be my joy" (pg 158)

Next week we will cover Ch 13 in our last Book Club for the year. =)

by Mary Wall